Thankful

There are so many things im thankful for. Especially this year. This has been a rough one. Hailey was in the hospital for a week with rsv while I was pregnant, Addison had open heart surgery, we are broke, and some other things but those were the really sucky ones. I didnt think I was going to make it through addison's surgery but here I am. Im so thankful all of that is behind me!!!! Im also thankful for soo much more, like the fact that I have my family right around the corner from me and they are always there whenever I need a helping hand or im being a scaredy cat and need to stay with them while my husband goes out of town because lets face it, im scared to be alone. Im one of those people that scare the crap out of myself.  I see scary clown shape murderers in the shadows of my bedroom. So this wonderful Thanksgiving week, and black friday I was at my parents, two children in toe. We manage to get through it with out any one getting into a fist fight, for the most part..... I'm also thankful for the fact that we had just enough money left on credit cards to do some shopping for the girls on black Friday for Christmas.  I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, and a wonderful husband, and two children who love me (most of the time). Im just so thankful I could explode. Some days I wake up and feel so happy about my life, I love waking up to my girls smiling and talking to each other, while my husband is in the kitchen makeing me a cup of coffee and I can smell it all the way in the bedroom (yes he is that awesome).  I love when Scott comes in and kisses us goodbye, before he leaves for work, and I see it in his eyes too.  How happy he is, for what we do have. Its a wonderful thing. Im also thankful for the wonderful group of close friends I have. The ones that are always there for me no matter what, through thick and thin. I got lucky, I really did with my girls (Amber,Crystal,Jade, and Melea (in ABC order...)). And last but not least im thankful for chocolate......how I Love you dear sweet delicious chocolate....

The super long update post

This is Addison after her surgery. She did amazing. I should have wrote this post right after it happened when it was real and raw and right in the front of my head. But I have been busy with life lately. After her surgery was done we were only in the hospital for 5 days. i couldn't believe. I thought my heart was going to explode when everything was done with and they told me it was a success.  I literally felt a million pounds lift off of my shoulders. I had my mom and hubby with the whole time, thank God for their support. I couldn't have asked for a better experience. Not one complication.  Not to mention the size of her scar. It was nothing like I thought it would be. I pictured this massive incision all the way to her belly button for some reason, but it was smaller than my finger, which you can see in the pic.

By day 3 Addison was smiling.  It was auch a wonderful sight to see. I was so happy to pack my stuff up and get out of that hospital and have that whole situation behind me. Once we got home it took a little while to get back to normal. But I think we are there now. We have been seeing the cardiologist every other week. And so far everything has been right on track. And Addison is even starting to gain weight. And with that being said there is another reason why she is gaining weight, she has been eating baby food. And she loves it, every bite. I have to scrape the baby food jar and she is still wanting more.  She is especially loving apples. So far she has had apples, peas, sweet potato, green beans and baby cereal with apple juice. She is a happy little camper. We also went to the eye doctor and audiologist. The eye doctor said she is a little farsighted. But I knew she would need glasses, we all have them in my family. And the audiologist did not get a good reading and thought addy had some fluid in her ears so we went and saw our pediatrician but she said there was no infection and not much fluid at all, nothing that would cause concern or would need immediate action. So that was good to hear.

Hailey has been doing awesome in school. Her coloring skills are almost perfect.  I swear, its crazy she stays in the lines.  I cant believe with just a few months of school all she has learned. She has also picked up an extra bit of attitude. But she hangs with the boys and I saw that coming from a mile away. Lets see what else. Halloween was a success, and the girls looked freaking adorable. As always we started the night off late. But that tends to happen when there are like 6 children involved. And even though we are half way threw November, Hailey's candy is still sitting in her bucket not even eaten. But we are not going to tell her that.  And speaking of candy... Hailey had her tooth pulled and after this week it will have been a total of 3 dentist apts for the month. The good thing is Amber came to help for the tooth pulling. Yea she went back there.  Soooo many doctor and dentist appointments, I am exhausted to say the least. Besides all of the crazyness and busyness this time of year brings, it also welcomes the cold weather.  Well what we Floridians know as cold weather.  We have brought out the cold clothes, and that makes me a happy girl. Living in Florida is a wonderful thing. I don't know where else one day you can be wearing a hoodie, long sleeve shirt, pants, socks and sneakers and then two days later back into flip-flops and tank tops. Its a wonderful thing. I love this time of year, and next week is Thanksgiving. We have lots of things to be thankful for this year, but ill save that for another post.  Im sure there are other things that have happened since I last posted but I've got to start dinner.....Frozen pizza here I come.

Our life lately

So it's been awhile since I've posted. So Here are a few pictures from the past month.


Addison and Bella playing.


Addison swinging in her swing. It makes her so happy.


My little girl is getting so big. I can't believe she is 4.


Addison can sit in her bumbo, for a little bit by her self. She is doing so good in therapy she can hold her head up for 30 seconds and she can roll over from back to front and front to back. She coos all the time and makes little spit bubbles. Its so adorable. Tomorrow we leave at 7:00 am to go in for Addison's pre-op labs. They have to draw her blood, x rays, and some more echos. Then on tuesday its time for her surgery. It feels so real now. Because its so close, I can feel my chest getting tight and my eyes keep welling up with tears. I don't know how Im going to do, im just hoping for the best. I know that addy is a strong little fighter and she can get through anything. I hope this is like her birth. And everything goes better then expected and we get to leave after a week. Im just praying and hoping that it goes as smoothly as possible. Once again I have to leave Hailey. I hate being away from her. We bought a web cam so that we can talk to her through video chat. I hope she doesnt cry. I know how much she is going to miss us. Me, scott, addy, and grampy will all be in st pete. Thank God for Grampy and Gi-Gi. I know that Hailey is a strong little girl too, and before she knows it we should back. I just hope she stays busy and happy.

stuff

So I feel like I've just been really busy lately with life. Lots of doctor apts and once a week therapy. We finally have a surgery date for Addison, we went to meet with the surgeon on August 30th. And her surgery date is october 5th, we have to go in on October 4th to do all the testing and labs. That will be a crazy day, not looking forward to that, I know Addison is not going to want to cooperate she always seems to have her own agenda. And she isn't always too fond of the doctors. On top of everything going on we all got sick. But now everyone seems to be doing better. Addison has started waking up more often in the middle of the night and im feeling the effects of lack of sleep. Im really tired lately. Here are some pictures from the past few weeks.

We had went to barnes and nobles to get some coffee and walk around. Hailey wanted to play on the stage.

Addy is soooo happy, I love her huge smile.






Here is Addy holding her head up. She is doing much better. Makes me really happy.


Uncle josh playing with addy making her smile. Here is my update for the day. Addy is getting fussy.

Addison

Yesterday was addy's first apt with her physical therapist. I really like her, she is so sweet, her name is Judy. She brought addison a black and white animal book. And she loves it. Sometimes I wonder when people are talking to me about her are they being extra nice or addy really just doing that awesome. She was really impressed the way she was holding her head up and how she was moving. it made me sooo happy, she kept saying this awesome i love what im seeing, she is doing so good. It made me feel like hey at least im doing something right. She was also really happy about the fact that addison is breastfeeding. That was such a struggle in the begining. I thought for sure it would be easy considering I felt I was a breastfeeding pro. But it was really hard getting her to latch on. But now its a breeze.
On monday we go to St. pete to meet with her surgeon, Dr. Chai. We have already met him once while I was pregnant and basically got a low down of what was going to happen. they thought that she was going to need surgery right away but she didnt. She has done sooooo good since she was born. The doctors have been so happy with her. I just hope it continues to go this well. I am really dreading her going into surgery. I think when they want to take her from me to get her ready for surgery I might just have her in my arms and turn around and run out the door. But I know in my heart that she needs this surgery. Its just really hard. I try to paint this pretty picture of my life, and try to be happy but some days it just doesnt work like that. I just look at my lil girl and think how could anything be wrong she looks so perfect. Its so hard when we go to st. pete for the simple fact that it just screams "there really is something wrong". And I HATE that. One of these days I will find that magic wand that fixes everything.... but until then I just have to buck up and deal. Many people say how do you do it. And my answers is because I have to. There is no way anyone in there right mind would chose for their child to have a heart defect. So just deal with what hand you are given. And this is my hand. And I will get through it. I just have to keep telling myself that. We will get through it. Life isn't easy. Sometimes I wonder why God chose me to have Addison, I love her with every single piece, molecule, and breathe of my body. But why does she have to have a heart defect. Iv'e never really been too sad about the fact that she has down syndrome. Thats not what bothers me, because I know she will be basically like any other child, but the heart defect is what gets to me. Its what keeps me up at night, tossing and turning dreading this day that is right around the corner and there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming. Im just having one of those days where I think about it all and all I want to do is cry. But I know I have to be strong. Thank you god for getting me through these days and thank you for giving me such amazing support through my family and friends.

First day

Today was Hailey's first day of VPK.



I didn't know how I was going to react. Would I cry?? Everyone thought I would. But surprisingly I didn't. Everything happened so fast. I didn't even really get to enjoy what was happening. I cannot wait for her to go to kindergarten, that's where the real tears will be. The heart wrenching sobbing that will follow our walk through the halls after I wave to my lil baby in her new classroom and walk to my car. That's when it will start. These are days I will never forget. The firsts are always so wonderful. I can't wait for all the firsts my lil girls are going to enjoy together. And what they will accomplish. I cant wait to hang that first picture where Hailey writes her full name, in beautiful kindergarten lettering. I just can't wait. I enjoy being a mom so much. Its so amazing to feel this way. This is something you cannot know until you actually have your own child. It feels so priceless. I am so lucky.

I really am. Tomorrow Addison will have another evaluation with her physical therapist, Judy. I talked to her on the phone. She sounded so sweet. One of those people that really actually enjoy their job. I cant wait to meet her tomorrow. I can't wait to learn all the things I can do to let Addy have the best chance at everything. I can't wait until my baby is crawling. Then walking and talking. There is just soo much to look forward too

Today we went for a weight check for Addy, and she is 9lbs 12 oz and 22 inches long. I'm so proud of her for growing! Makes me happy.

Its been a little rough here in there, in the beginning we were going to the doctors every week to make sure she was gaining. And I think she is doing an awesome job considering her circumstances. And now we are about to leave for Hailey to have another eye doctors appointment lets hope she does better this time with her new glasses. This month is so busy. There is so much to do. On friday we go to St. Pete for a Cardiology apt for Addison, and we are going to find out when she is getting surgery. This is going to be tough. I have a feeling im not going to do so well on the way up there and back. Lets see how everything goes. Im dreading her having surgery. Im so scared. I have never been so scared for anything in my life. But I know my little Addy is strong and she will do awesome. I just hope this time we go to the apointment she does better with the ultrasound on her heart. Because last time she cried for a very long time and it was just too much too handle, because then it was my turn to cry because she was so upset. Ill keep my fingers crossed things go better this time.